‘Madame Webb’ Review: Not Every Superhero Needs a Movie

By Joe Barlow

I am something of a “Spider Man”. I remember in 2002 watching Toby Maguire blast web on the big screen at the Antioch Theatre in my hometown. (It’s spelled “Theatre” because we are classy in northern Illinois.)

The action, the humor, a true underdog story. I never really cared about superheroes until I saw this awkward teenager gain incredible powers through a freak spider bite. Did it represent me? Yes. Did I want a spider to make me cool/strong? Also yes.

So going into Madame Web, I hoped for the best. I was unfamiliar with the story but I hoped for thrills, chills, and a spider bite with magical results. I’ve enjoyed Dakota Johnson on talk shows and I’m aware of Sydney Sweeney, so what could go wrong?

Here’s how they describe the film on IMDB: The suspense-driven thriller stars Dakota Johnson as Cassandra Webb, a paramedic in Manhattan who develops the power to see the future… and realizes she can use that insight to change it. Forced to confront revelations about her past, she forges a relationship with three young women bound for powerful destinies…if they can all survive a deadly present.

The main problem of this “suspense-driven” film: no suspense. Other than a few jump scares, the plot follows a predictable path. The character arc of Webb goes along the exact path you’d expect (except for maybe the final scene). Sydney Sweeney’s character wears glasses, so we know she’s an unsure but smart rule-follower. The villain, Ezekiel (Tahar Rahim) never fully takes off as evil or interesting. It makes a guy miss the deranged performance of Willem Dafoe.

The acting is enjoyable if you like Dakota Johnson (I do). It feels very much like her sense of humor and attitude. The dialogue however, is unnatural and full of exposition. Sometimes I’d wish they just let the audience figure it out instead of telling us everything that’s going on in clunky run-on sentences. (That’s MY job.) Some actors are able to sell the awkwardly written dialogue, but usually it feels completely silly and takes you out of the movie. (The internet predicted this when they latched onto this line of dialogue.)

That said, ultimately it’s an action movie so how’s the action? The good news is, they visualized her “future-seeing” powers well. There are chases and explosions and they are fine. If it was on TBS, you might get pulled in and watch a few minutes.

The movie attempts to capitalize on the popularity of Marvel and Spider-Man, while actually being neither. It exists in its own universe. Which leads me to the conclusion: not every superhero needs a movie. Just because there’s a comic book, doesn’t mean we have to green light a thicc 116 minute release.

That said, here’s my surprise twist (take notes, suspense screenwriters): I’d actually be fine if they made a sequel. The film did not give a lot for the “three young women” to do, other than be afraid and run. Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, and Celeste O’Connor were all actually pretty good, but the movie was not about them. They had the potential to give me that Toby-hit my veins were craving. Maybe a sequel could do it for me. We also only scratched the surface on Madame Webb’s powers. A wise man once said “With great powers, comes a way more interesting film.”

RATING: C-